Are you in terms with your Personal Peace ?

Are you in terms with Personal Peace

What image or thoughts does the idea of peace bring up for your? First thoughts of peace are of quiet, calm serenity. For most of us with our modern busy lifestyles it may well be a rare thing. A nice relax in the bath, a pleasant walk on an spring day or a day out somewhere with a friend all contribute towards giving you some peace.

Taking the concept of peace deeper makes us think of a time without strife, arguments or fighting. The ideal of people living together in harmony and showing respect and dignity towards each other also comes to mind. A life without worry can also be a life of peace.

Life does not give us the peace we want. External noise from traffic, people and machinery constantly invade on our attempts at quiet time. Demands from others stop us actually taking time out to relax. Wars and conflict at home and abroad all prevent peace being achieved. Concerns over how to pay the bills, personal health and those we love can also spoil our personal peace.

Are You at Peace?

What is real 'personal peace' and how do you achieve it? As mentioned above a level of peace can be achieved by relaxing in pleasant surroundings either on your own or with pleasant company. So can yoga, meditation, prayer or even just reading or doing a crossword puzzle. But how do you achieve a true inner peace?

To achieve real personal peace you need to be happy with yourself. Not other people, the state of the world or your home environment; just yourself.

How can we be happy with ourselves? The answer is simple, rather dog-eared and clichéd but true. We have to learn to love ourselves first, unconditionally. If you have children consider your love for them.

You want to do the best for them, keep them safe, help them grow. As they learned to walk you encouraged and praised them. They fell and hurt themselves, made mistakes. What did you do? Helped them up and on their way. You don't criticise a toddler for failing to walk by the time they reach their first birthday, or for falling over as they learn.

Neither should you beat yourself up over every mistake you make in life. Love yourself for who you are, what you were and what you will be to come. Be proud of your achievements, however small, because you worked for them. Don't criticise or be hard on yourself. Accept your mistakes, learn from them and move on. Forgive yourself when you do wrong or let yourself or others down.

If you can genuinely love and forgive yourself, and I mean 100%, warts and all, you are then on the way to being at peace with yourself. No amount of walking, yoga or meditation will give you peace if you don't love and forgive yourself as well.

Peace in a Noisy World

So you are comfortable with who you are. You then switch on the TV or radio, open a newspaper and bang, there it all is, bad, bad news. Cynicism, fault finding and negative attitudes all creating an image of a terrible world full of terrible people.

Stop worrying about everything outside of your control. Learn to let go of things. Worrying nas never solved a problem but has contributed to personal ill health through poor diet and lack of sleep.

If it is not bad news that we are being bombarded with it is advertising that shouts at our subconscious mind telling us that buying things will bring us happiness.

Neither the news nor advertising gives a balanced view of life. There are a lot of people out there doing good things as well as bad. Buying stuff does not always make us happy.

How To Redress the Balance?

The simplest thing to do is to avoid the bad stuff. If you want to keep your body healthy you eat a balanced diet, so to keep your mind healthy feed it a balanced diet! If you have a problem consider how you can solve it, rather than just worrying about it. If you cannot solve it learn to accept it or look for creative solutions. If you are still stuck let it go and see what happens.

Consider what you read and watch. Look for more upbeat material. Look around you and see the good stuff people do. Give yourself a new perspective on life and see how different everything looks!

It is all pretty obvious stuff but easier said than done. However by being aware and working at it you can make progress. It may be slow but it will be worth it. Relax and let it happen!

Invest in Yourself!! Give up when enough is enough!!

We live in a fast paced world; fast cars, fast food, jet planes, cell phones, laptops etc. All of these technical and life style changes have had a definite impact on society, both positive and negative.

On the positive side, we have become the richest, most comfortable and most fortunate nation in the world. Our day-to-day lives surrounds us with conveniences future generations never experienced and present generations across the globe strive to emulate.

On the negative side it has made us the most greedy, materialistic and entitled generation to ever inhabit the earth. Each of our days are full of the desire for more of everything; more money, bigger houses, more toys, more vacations etc.

Having the desire and wishing for a better life is not the issue. God want’s all of his children to attain the finer things in life, not struggle. It’s when we are blessed with enough and are not aware of the others that touch our lives. It’s when we take them for granted, forget to be thankful and grateful or refuse to share with those less fortunate that it damages our soul and sense of being.

We focus so fervently on attaining, that we forget to give back and nurture life and ourselves. We’ve become so obsessed with obtaining more of everything, we are often not living in the present but acquiring for the future. What this means is that we spend so much of out time looking ahead, that we forget were we are. When our life consists of taking from what life has to offer and not giving back, it’s only a matter of time before the well runs dry.

Don’t get me wrong, we all need to plan to improve our lives, protect our families and make our lives more secure if we can. But at what price? Certainly not at the expense of our own good will and the consideration for our fellow man and planet.

It’s not always about more, how fast you can get there or what’s on the other side. When you’re so focused on more i.e. bigger, better, faster, I promise you that you’ll lose contact with yourself and what really matters in life, the present.

The true joys of life, the simple things are free; a hug, a smile, a walk by the ocean, the scent of a flower, the song of a bird, catching a sunrise or sunset. These are the wonderful aspects of life that you are trading and losing, if you are constantly focused on more.

When is enough, enough? When you lose your sense of self, a loved one whom you’ve ignored or realize your child is graduating from high school or college and you hardly know them.

Today is all you have, today and all the wonderful and beautiful pieces of your life that are part of that day. Life is not about how fast you can get from point a to point b, it’s about the journey. The journey is where everything that your heart and soul require lives; joy, love, hope, faith, courage, adventure, wonder, friendship and making a difference in someone’s life.

Likewise, life is not about what’s on the other side of the mountain, is about what’s here today, it’s about the climb. Who’s in your day today, which loved one or friend are you with or should you be with? Who’s climbing the mountain with you, eager to be by your side, to hear your voice, see your smile, hold your hand? Wake up and get present. Enjoy the climb today for someday when, the climb will end.

God wants us all to be healthy and happy but not at the expense of ignoring ourselves, our loved ones and our fellow man. You can’t give to someone else, what you can’t give to yourself. More does not nourish the soul or the spirit, it feeds the ego. If you would begin to slow down and focus on what you’re feeling versus what you’re thinking, you’ll begin to reconnect with your heart and soul.

Only then will you begin to enjoy the climb and be grateful for those in your life.

Give in Without Giving Up

What do you do when it feels like there is no light at the end of the tunnel? When everything is in doubt and life's possibilities seem empty? When you watch world events transpire over which you have no control and film and music idols, once seemingly immortal, senselessly succumb to cancer or drugs?

The economy is uncertain. The future of your environment is uncertain. The future of your health is uncertain.

The more dismal you feel, the more you panic. As you panic, the more prone you are to illness in body and mind. The cycle accelerates and intensifies until you feel helpless and hopeless.

What do you do when you feel stuck between living in fear or not living at all?

I recently had this very conversation with my taxi driver in Turkey. For some reason, we started talking about the most beautiful places to go in the country. And while he mentioned a few places that he loved most, he also said that he could no longer enjoy these places because he was unable to take pleasure in anything. He complained that he felt trapped in a dark place and was unsure if he would ever get out.

He had lost his job over two years ago, followed by his house, two cars and wife of 20 years. He drove a taxi out of necessity, not out of choice. It paid the bills, just barely. The war had taken the life of his son. His new girlfriend was just diagnosed with breast cancer. He feared he would lose her too. He used to write. Now, he could not find words. He used to sing. Now, he could not find his voice. He prayed every day for God to help, but no help had come. He tried to "think positive", but only negative thoughts appeared.

"I don't know what to do anymore," he said, before apologizing for throwing his problems my way. "How can I keep going if I don't know that everything will eventually turn out well?"

"We cannot control the future, " I said. "I am not a fortune-teller and I cannot know what any specific outcome will be. I can know, however, that if you panic or feel hopeless, it is not going to help anything, but rather make the situation worse."

I told him that he had every right to feel panicked and depressed. The truth is, I explained, that it was physiologically impossible to think positively when he was deep in stress and fear. Hormones and the other biochemical changes in the mind and body were keeping him from being able to do so. It is as if he was trying to stop shivering when feeling cold. "You cannot access good behaviors and positive emotions when you are deep in the fear response. It is like trying to drive your car without any fuel" I explained.

"The solution is to surrender," I told him.

"Give up and die?" He asked.

"No," I answered. "Give in and live."

I continued by explaining that 'surrender' meant to stop fighting or struggling and allow himself to simply receive, like a fetus does in the mother's womb. He had to allow himself to imagine that he was receiving all the magic, power and support that the universe has to offer, filling him up, so that he could then find the strength and courage to face life.

I told him to imagine an image of a mother made of light, with her wings spread wide, holding him like an infant, rocking and cradling him, while saying these words:

"You are loved. You are valued. The support you need is here." He should say this over and over, for as long as he wished.

I instructed him to do this exercise after he prayed and any other time he felt fear, panic or negativity rising up. If he did, he might find that as he changed on the inside, his life or at least the way he acted in his life, would change in a positive way too.

By doing this exercise enough times, I explained, his unconscious mind might take in the experience as real. In effect, he would essentially be reprogramming old beliefs of scarcity, of not being enough, or having enough of all that he needs. As his beliefs change, attitudes, behaviors and interactions with others change. Rather than being shut down and shut out, he could be open to his own abilities and the resources others could offer. The possibilities become endless rather than pointless.

"Will I get my old job back?" he asked?

"I can't tell you that," I answered. "You might find yourself doing something else entirely. Whatever it is though," I added, "you may find yourself content and able to appreciate and take pleasure again. You will find your words and perhaps your voice will discover a beautiful melody. It is through our suffering and the depths of despair that we uncover greatness."

"Did you ask for help this evening? I mean, why is it do you think, that we are having this conversation?" I asked. "Yes," he answered, "I did."

"Well then", I continued. "I offer you a wish that all the love and support the universe has to offer find their way to you".

A little gleam came into his eye -- perhaps a tear or perhaps a shred of hope -- and with a smile on his face he said, "Today I will go to the synagogue and pray for you too. I will pray that you also receive all the support and love you need to continue on your path; to inspire others like me to remember that we are ultimately loved, not punished."

I never got his name, but in that moment in time, his heart opened. Mine did too.

In these difficult times, all we can do is to surrender, give in, and open our hearts to one another, to receive and give. Love is the source of our survival